I have been missing the essence of ValeWale for quite a while now. Who am I? I am perfect just the way I am, I am human, I commit mistakes. When i put my mind to something that I really want, I do what it takes to get it done. I am a 19-year-old confused adolescent girl who loves to love people. I am codependent with everyone in the world, I need everyone to be happy. I am hyper. I think inappropriate thoughts all the time. I laugh at the most silly things, the things nobody finds funny. I’m very outgoing but shy at the same time. I can’t say what I feel because I’m always afraid, the essence of me has turn into fear. People have always seen me as fearless, but the only thing I fear is what I feel.
I’m a hypocrite, a liar. I believe in things that I do not practice in my life. I hide every little thing that might let people judge me. I only give enough information for them to think that I am someone I am not.
I miss the care free VW who used to do things she believed in, even if they were the silliest things. I miss the feeling of the truth, when I didn’t hide things from myself or anyone else, I want to be the old me. The real me.
One Comment
I have learned to pay attention to my feelings, good ones and bad, and address the bad ones as soon as possible.
For me, it’s necessary to walk through the bad feelings and do a little soul searching to find out why they appear…often it is fear based and requires a little faith that there is a gift in there somewhere. I’ve learned not to stuff them because they fester and grow, but I have also learned not to hang out there too long.